Cake and Grapes

I had the best Mom ever! 
I know other's would say the same thing, but I do believe I did have the best Mom ever! Well at least she was the best Mom for me! 
She fulfilled so many areas of my life, I just cannot even fathom what life would have been like with a different Mother. 

I was a skinny teenager, who suffered from Food Allergies, which made me very ill at times. I actually was teased and made to feel bad about being "too skinny" and of course, as with most bullying, it hurt. 

Don't get me wrong, I stood up for myself, even got in a few fights. (I know, hard to believe) But bullying of any and all kinds leaves scars on people. My Mom also knew the pain of bullying. She was a very shy girl. (And I mean VERY). This led to her being teased about being a snob and "too good for anyone" when in fact, she was socially inept. She was terrified to talk to people. She eventually overcame this, but it was traumatic for her as a child. 

I would come home from an event and go to my room and just want to scream. People were so cruel! I would be so angry that I would begin to cry and that is about when my mom would come in with a fresh un-frosted piece of white or yellow cake. Still warm from the oven. But because I also needed natural sugar, she would bring in green grapes as well. (Hence; cake and grapes) It was her tenderness and sweetness that would melt me. I tried to become hard hearted towards others. I really wanted to hate them for teasing me so much. But she would sit on the bed with me and talk, and cry, and eat cake. 

She would give me the best "mom advice" ever and tell me to forgive them and love them anyway. They just didn't understand that they showing me how insecure and hurt they were inside. Over time I would begin to learn how to deal with the pain of others. I learned to recognize that they were just exposing themselves to me. I had a choice to make, to be mean back, after all, I felt I had a right to be mean back. That was not the choice I made, I chose to be correct. Hurting people hurt others, so why not help heal the pain and be kind to them, regardless of how they treated me? Yes, that is what I did. 

I became stronger as a person and was able to confront those who were mean to me. It was not easy, and sometimes I still wanted more cake and grape time! However, time does have a way of healing things if you let it. Forgiveness is part of that too. 

Throughout my adult life, I was blessed to have a close relationship with my mother, we were the best of friends. We vented and laughed and cried together. No matter where in the United States I lived, we remained close. We used to joke about having a cake and grape talk, I knew when she said that she needed to vent and I was to be the "good advice" giver. This went both ways. I would mention the cake and grapes and she would become my sounding board to the issues I was frustrated with. 

Cake and Grapes is something I have shared with my two daughters. Only they don't like cake, so it is mostly a metaphor for "we need to talk" and then we talk. I cherish both my daughters and wish that my mother could have known them as adults. I know she would have been as proud of them as I am today. 

I mostly eat the cake and grapes by myself now. I love the relationships I have with my daughters and those with my other female friends. But none compare to the one I had with my Mother..... 

She truly was my best friend. 
            And I miss her......