As the season changes

As the season changes, so do we. We can't help it. Oh some of our traits stay the same, but life changes us. What we experience changes us.  We cannot flee circumstances. We can only choose how do deal with them. 

September was a quiet month. Nothing out of the ordinary at least. Ashley moved closer to us, that was good. She was a real blessing around the house. Amber was also there, helping where she could. It was nice to have both of my daughters there. Mom enjoyed having them around. She was always asking them to "bake" something. Mom lived her life though us, cooking, cleaning, laundry and sewing. Her friend Ann came over and she and I sewed together. She made things for Mom and I just tried to make things... anything. I was still learning how to use the machines Mom had to their fullest potential. 

Dad's birthday was this month. We made him a German Chocolate Cake, his favorite next to Angel Food. It was a quiet celebration. Mom was mostly getting her food through her tube, so eating cake was a treat. She just never felt hungry and swallowing was such a chore. 

Now mind you, Mom was still using the facilities. She had great bladder control and we would lift her out of her chair onto the toilet and then back to her chair again. She was just about completely reliant on us for her transfers. Her legs were useless to her. Same with the shower. I would lift her onto the shower seat and then pick her up when it was done. Help her dry off and dress her. I dressed her everyday. Helped her with her hair and such. She needed us, either myself or Dad, 24/7 at this point. 

We started having visitors. Outside visitors, other than family. It was nice since Mom was home-bound. She needed people to come and see her. Oh we could go out, it was just so tiring on her that we saved our trips for doctor appointments and special occasions only. 

It begin to be clear that Mom was getting more and more tired. Her body just wasn't regenerating itself anymore. She had lost weight by not eating, but was maintaining a steady weight now that she was tube fed. Her arms were tired and it was obvious that sitting up on her own was becoming difficult. 

Her spirits were up and we chatted about her quality of life. Quality, that was our focus now. What can we do to make it better for her? She was not on any pain medicine, except for her hips, she had bursitis. The ALS was not painful. That was a blessing. 

October ended with us starting Mom on Hospice. We needed extra help and Mom needed the extra attention. They were nothing short of wonderful! Mom had a nurse come twice a week to check up on her and bath aids also twice a week. She was blessed with a massage once a week. We couldn't have asked for a better group of people to be working with. They all spoiled Mom. 

We were also blessed with more friends coming to visit. We had lunches with a couple of ladies that were special to Mom and then a life long couple from Montana came to visit. It was such a special time. Mom's voice was going so I had to interpret quite a bit, or she would write down what she wanted to say. But her eyes sparkled and you could just tell she was happy. Regardless of the fate ahead of her, she was sweet and blessed those who came to see her. 

Mom's circumstances changed her. She was a strong, independent woman who took great pride in her marriage and family. She loved the Lord and loved serving Him. Mom was active in many activities, including her quilt club, gardening, painting and crafts. She loved to create and decorate. She also enjoyed singing and listening to the Gathers on CD. Now Mom was a totally dependent woman, who could barely sit up with out support.  She could hardly be understood when she was speaking, her voice weak and full of air. She could no longer cry, it was just to hard on her body to do that. She relied on Dad and I to dress her, bath her and feed her. But all of this, these changes, were just circumstances. Mom was still Mom. She still loved all those things, she just was not in a position to partake in them. Her mind was clear and sharp and she still loved serving the Lord. She still took pride in her marriage and family. And watching quilting shows on TV still brought her joy! Circumstances changed her outwardly, but inwardly, Mom was dealing with it. And she was still that strong independent woman that raised me to be the same. 

Here is Dad feeding Mom thru the PEG tube early in the morning. 

Mom getting a hair cut from my cousin Stef! 

Mom and Dad with Baby Garrett. He loved to go for rides on her chair. 

October ended with our weeks pretty much on a schedule. Nurse visits, Bath Aids and the once a week Massage for Mom took care of all our extra time. Ann still came over once a week to sew and to spend time with Mom. Hard to believe that they have known each other for over 20 years! Mom's other friend Linda also came to visit. Moms mental state was good. Physically she was changing, but her mind was good. And the fact that she was not forgotten, helped! 

Oh, and one more thing this month, another life long friend of hers and one of mine were doing the sweetest thing, sending cards every month plus more. Mom would light up with each card she got in the mail! Again, not to be forgotten, that was good food for her soul! 

Don't worry Mom, we wont forget you!